Choose wisely: Your all-important Apple Watch choice

Trust the Macalope, you’re not going to suddenly realize that the dude who regularly walks into a sushi bar with a panther on a leash followed by five guys in pith helmets with tranquilizer guns —because sometimes the panther just can’t take it anymore— is rich because he’s now wearing an Apple Watch Edition.

Because sometimes the panther just can’t take it anymore.