It is rare that you come across a work of such undeniable genius, but here it is.
When you debug systems code, there are no high-level debates about font choices and the best kind of turquoise, because this is the Old Testament, an angry and monochromatic world, and it doesn’t matter whether your Arial is Bold or Condensed when people are covered in boils and pestilence and Egyptian pharaoh oppression. HCI people discover bugs by receiving a concerned email from their therapist. Systems people discover bugs by waking up and discovering that their first-born children are missing and “ETIMEDOUT” has been written in blood on the wall.
The internet is over people. Go home. There is nothing you can do to top this. Just accept that you gave it a good try and accept defeat. No one will think less of you for it. We’re done here.
Can the last one out turn off the lights?